Carolines Story - Nelly De Vuyst

74596_7Caroline_EN_1.pdf

1Whohashadtheunpleasantexperience

ofwakingupnexttoaloverwhilebeing completelyashamedoftheirlooks?

Whoknowsthecourageittakesto

t e achteenagerswhilehavingmore pimplesthananyoneofthem - knowingthatthesesamestudentswon't missasingleopportunitytomakeyou a wareofit? WhounderstandshowĚŝĸĐƵůƚitistogo shoppingwhenthereŇecƟonineach andeverymirrorisunbearable?

Whounderstandshowharditistobein

agoodmoodwhenthesimpleactof g e

ƫŶŐoutofthehouseisamajor

ord eal?

WhoknowshowmanysocialĂĐƟvŝƟes

on esuīeringfromsevereacnecan avoidbecausetheyfeelawfulabout theirlooks?

Ihavetheanswertoallthese

ƋƵĞƐƟŽŶƐ͙͘

Ihaveliveditfor20years.

AlongƟŵĞago,ayoung13yearoldgirl

showedupataĚĞƌŵĂƚŽůŽŐŝƐƚ͛Ɛoĸcein thecityofJolieƩe.Iwasthisyounggirl.I rec allthatŵŽŵĞŶƚasifitwere y esterday.IhadalineoffourƐŵĂů l blackheadsonŵynose.MyŵŽƚŚĞƌ͕a ĐŚĂƌŵŝŶŐwoŵĂnwhohadhadŵĂŶLJ blackheadsinthepast,waswellaware oftheŝŵƉŽƌƚĂŶĐĞofhavingabeauƟĨƵů skin.Moreover,sŵy g eneƟĐbackgroundcouldbe ƉƌŽďůĞŵĂƟĐforŵe.AsŵyfatherhadalsolivedalongƟŵĞwiththe ĚŝƐĐŽŵĨŽƌƚofhavingboils,shebelieved thateveryĞīŽƌƚhadtobeŵĂdewhen theĮƌƐƚƐLJŵƉƚŽŵƐarose.Myparents bo thbelievedthatanounceof ƉƌĞǀĞŶƟŽŶwasworthŵŽƌĞthana poun dofcure.AŌerall;Ihadbeena ďĞĂƵƟĨƵůyounggirlandsoshould b eĐŽŵĞabeĂƵƟĨƵůteenager! TheƐŝƚƵĂƟŽŶrapidlydeŐĞŶĞƌĂƚĞĚ͘

Asofthefollowingyear,andwithout

anyoneknowingtheprecisereasons why,ŵyskinĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶworsened.Ithad atendencytobeĐŽŵĞgreasyandabove allithadahighpredisposŝƟonfor cysts...hugeandnumerouscysts. G reatlypreoccupiedbyŵyappearance,

IrapidlylearnedthevirtuesofŵĂke

ƟŽ

nonŵyskin.IwouldŵĂke excessiveuseofŵĂke

ŵyeyes

andlipstobothaccentuatetheŵand d etrac tfroŵŵyotherfeatures. TroubledbyŵyƌĞŇĞĐƟonintheŵirror,

Ididŵybesttohidetherednessofŵy

skin.WiththehelpofĐŽƐŵĞƟĐŝĂŶƐ͕I s electedwellknown,expensivebrands toensurethepurchaseofquality productswhichwereadaptedtoŵy skintype. Thos ewhohavehadcystsarewell a wareoftheirŶĞŐĂƟǀĞaspects:

1.Cystsarelocatedbeneaththe

skin.Theyseldoŵeruptso...they stayforaverylongƟŵe-ƐŽŵĞ ofwhichIhadforovertwo years .

2.Cystsareŵuchlargerthan

ƉŝŵƉůĞƐ͘Usingasyringe,the

ĚĞƌŵĂƚŽůŽŐŝƐƚhadtoextract s ever alcubiccenƟŵetersof ŇƵŝĚƐfroŵƐŽŵĞofŵycysts.

Also,theyareŵuchredderand

ar ethereforeveryĚŝĸĐƵůƚto hideunderŵĂke

Caroline's Story

23.Cystsareveryeasytosee.

4.TheirrednessŵĂŬĞsusingŵĂke

ŵĞanstohidetheŵ

ŵuchharder.Assuchtheyare

visibleatallƟŵĞƐ͘Thusthey haveagreaterŝŵƉĂĐt.They

ŵŽĚŝĨLJyourself

ƉĞƌĐĞƉƟŽŶand

ƵŶĚĞƌŵŝŶĞyourself

ĐŽŶĮĚence.

Theyplayakeyroleinthesocial

ĂĐƟ

vŝƟesyouchoosetoĂƩĞŶĚ͕ inyourƐĞůĞĐƟŽŶoffriends,in crea ƟŶŐƌŽŵĂŶƟĐrelaƟŽŶships,

ĂīĞĐ

tyouinyourworking eŶǀŝƌŽŶŵentandIcouldgoon andon....

5.Aboveall,cystsareveryvery

painful.

AtthatƟŵĞ͕Ialsoconsultedan

ĞƐƚŚĞƟĐ

ian.AtĮƌƐƚ͕shehadaposiƟve ĂƫƚƵĚĞ͘However,thefrequentfacials wer eleavingŵyskinswollen,redand i rr itat e dforoveraweek.Furtherŵore, ŶƵŵĞƌŽƵƐandsevereacneaƩacks wouldfollowtheseƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐ͘Irecall h erŵĂkingĞdžƚƌĂĐƟŽŶƐ͕applyingŵĂsks, andproceedingtohighfrequency

ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐ͘

BytheƟŵeIputanendtothe

ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐwiththeestheƟĐŝĂŶ͕shehad tr i e deverythinginherpowertohelp

ŵe.Therewerenodiscernibleresults

despiteallherĞīŽƌƚƐ͘FortheĮƌƐƚƟŵe inŵylife,IthoughtthatIwouldnever becuredofacneandfearedthatI wouldhavetolivetherestofŵylife withtheƚŽƌŵĞŶƚƐofthisĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶ͘ IwasluckyinŵyŵŝƐĨŽƌƚƵŶĞ͘Bothŵy pa re ntswereƐƵƉƉŽƌƟǀĞofŵe,and theyneverstoppedthinkingIwasa good ,intelligentandďĞĂƵƟĨƵůperson.

Theyneverabandonedŵe.Ireŵeŵďer

thattheydidnotletŵ eŇŽƵŶĚĞƌ

throughĐƌĞĂŵƐ͕soapsandloƟŽŶsforverylong.ƵƌƚŚĞƌŵŽƌĞ͕theynever

ĂƩ

e

ŵƉƚ

edtoŵŝŶŝŵŝnjĞŵysorrowortry toignoretheƉƌŽďůĞŵƐIwas e xp er i encingbecauseofŵylooks.They alwayshadaposiƟveĂƫƚƵdeand wouldinsistinĮŶĚŝŶŐasoluƟŽŶ.Ihad tr i e dseveralsoaps,creĂŵsandŵĂŶLJ ĚŝīerentƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐŽīeredeitherby

ĞƐƚŚĞƟĐ

ians,ĚĞƌŵĂƚŽůŽŐŝƐƚƐ͕ pediatricians,ƉŚĂƌŵĂĐŝƐƚs, acupuncturists,andŵĂŶLJothers-

LJŽƵ͛ĚprobablylaughifIlistedallof

theŵ allofwhichresultedintotal failure.Itwasthenthatŵyparents broughtŵetoaprivateclinictoŵĞĞt withDrX.

Hewasthen,andprobablyƐƟůůis,the

bestdĞƌŵĂƚologistinNorthAŵerica.

Myparentsneverhaggledoverthe

ex p e n sestheyincurred.Overthe years ,theyhavespentthousandsof dollarstoprovideŵeaccesstoallthe ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐandprofessionalservices a vailable,regardlessofthecost. IƌĞŵĞŵberŵyĮƌƐƚŵĞĞƟŶŐwithDrX: anŝŵƉĞĐĐĂďůĞŵĂŶ͕withsilky

ŵooth

skin.ArespectableŵĂŶ͕ageless, s ee

ŵŝŶŐůLJuntouchedbytheeīectsof

Ɵ

ŵĞ

.ApleasantŵĂŶ͕strong,ĐŽŶĮĚĞŶƚ withagreatsenseofŚƵŵŽƌ͘Hehad takentheƟŵĞtotalkaboutƉŽůŝƟĐƐand tojestbeforespeakingtoŵeaboutŵy acneproblĞŵs.AŵĂnthatunderstood thepainofthoselivingwiththe ƉƌŽďůĞŵƐgeneratedbyacne.Hewas theĮƌƐƚpersontotrulyunderstandthe physicalpainIwasenduring.Atoncehe toldhewouldcureŵe.Ihadnoother choicebuttobelieveŚŝŵ͘Ididbelieve Śŝŵ-ŚŝŵŵŽƌĞthananyofthe predecessors.Heassuredŵethathe wouldneverletŵedown...andhenever has.

3OnŵyĮƌƐƚvisit,heŵadeanoteinŵy

ŵĞ

dicalĮůethatIwastobeapriority ƉĂƟĞŶƚ͕andthatifIshouldcallforan ĂƉƉŽŝŶƚŵĞŶƚ͕itshouldbegrantedto

ŵethatveryday,eachandeveryƟŵĞI

shouldrequestit.Asitturnsout,this wasalwaysrespected.Ievenhad accesstothedoctoratnightandon wee kends,andhaveevenconsultedŚŝŵ

10:30pŵonce.IƌĞŵĞŵďĞƌhiŵjoking

aboutthefactthattheonlyƉĂƟĞŶƚthat hadpriorityoverŵewasacelebrity thathewasalsoƚƌĞĂƟŶŐ͘Shewould ca llŚŝŵforanĂƉƉŽŝŶƚŵĞŶƚbefore ĮůŵŝŶŐ͘InactualityIŽŌĞŶwonderedifI ĚŝĚŶ͛ƚĐŽŵĞĮƌƐƚonhislist-suchwas theĐŽŶĮĚĞŶĐĞheinspiredthroughhis deepĐŽŵƉĂƐƐŝŽŶandcoŵŵiƚŵĞntto

ŵe.

Fo rthelongestƟŵĞhewasŵygreatest hop eforalife-asparkofhopeinŵy dar ke stnights.

Butacneisamonster

EveryoneknowswhatapersonƐƵīĞƌŝŶŐ froŵacnelookslike.Whatnoonecan ŝŵĂŐŝŶĞistheĞŵŽƟŽŶĂůstrength re quiredjusttoŵĂkeitthroughdaily life.Firstly,acneƐƵīĞƌĞƌƐŵƵƐƚput

ƐŽŵeƟŵesthosewhostare

ƵŶĂƐŚĂŵĞĚůLJ͘Orotherswhoselooks ar efuƌƟǀĞandevasive,fortheysĞĞŵto beasuncoŵfortableinthepresenceof suchacneasisthesuīerer.Theworst ofall,arethelooksbythosewhoseeyes ar eĮůůĞĚwithpity.

IƌĞŵĞŵberwhenIwas18yearsold,I

hadahugecystwhichƌĞŵĂinedfor

ŵŽƌĞthantwoyears.Itcoveredŵostof

ŵyleŌcheekanditwasdarkblue.It

wasŝŵƉŽƐƐibletoconceal.TheƐŝnjĞof thecystcausedŵylowereyelidtobe ĐŽŵƉƌĞƐƐĞĚ͘ThisresultedinŶƵŵĞƌŽƵƐ ey einfeĐƟons.AtthatƟŵĞIworkedasasalespersonin aďŽƵƟƋƵĞ͘Once,duringtheŚƌŝƐƚŵĂƐ season,afrequentcustŽŵĞƌstoppedby thestoretoĐŽŵĞandsay"Hi"toŵe.

Shehuggedŵeanddiscretelyhanded

ŵeapieceofpaper.Onthenotewas

thetelephoneŶƵŵďĞƌofashelterfor ba

ƩĞƌĞ

dǁŽŵĞŶ͘Ireŵeŵďercryingas

IreturnedŚŽŵĞthatnight.

Asateenager,havingadefoƌŵĞd

fac eduetosevereacnehasŵĂŶLJ ŶĞŐĂƟǀĞrepercussionsonyourlife.It

ŵĞĂ

nsthelossofself

ŵ;youcan

developsuchdisgustaboutyourlooks thatyoucan͛tlookpeopleintheeye, fo rfearofĮŶĚŝŶŐeitherdisgustorpity there. ƵīĞƌŝŶŐfroŵsevereacneŵeansliving withthefearofneverlivingaroŵance, ofneverfeelingproudaboutyourlooks.

ItĂīectsself

ĐŽŶĮĚĞŶĐĞ͕ŵĂŬĞsyoulive infearofrejecƟŽŶ,causesyoutobe

ƟŵŝĚandintrovertedasyoutrytoĮnd

refugewithinyourself. IƌĞŵĞŵďĞƌaŵŽƌŶŝŶŐwhenŵyŵŽƚŚer wa l kedintothebathrooŵwhileIwas staringatŵLJselfintheŵŝrror,crying.I wastryingtoapplyŵĂke

ůŝƩůĞ

success,tohideŵyacne,rightbefore g oin gtoschool.MyŵŽƚŚĞrhuggedŵe andƐŽŌůLJsaid:"YouknowCaroline, youcouldtakeabreaktodayandstayat ŚŽŵĞtorest."IfoundthisŽīĞƌquite ĞŶƟĐŝŶŐ͘IwassorelytĞŵptedbythis ƐƵŐŐĞƐƟŽŶandseriouslyconsidered thisŽƉƟŽn.IntheendIrealinjedthatifI allowedŵLJselftostayatŚŽŵĞbecause ofŵylooks,IwouldneveragainĮŶĚthe couragetoleavethehousetofacethe world.

IgotoutofbedandIwenttoschool

4AcneŵĂdeŵeaggressivebecauseIfelt

aterribleŝŶũƵƐƟĐĞhadbeen perpetratedonŵe.WhyŵĞ͍Butacne alsoŵĂĚĞŵeterriblysadand depressed.IfearedthatIwouldnever likeŵyself,afraidthatŵylifewould b e ĐŽŵĞaperpetualĮŐŚtagainstŵy owniŵĂŐĞ.IwasafraidthatIwould wake

ŵirror

ever yŵŽƌŶŝŶŐfortherestofŵylife.

Acnebroughtoninsecurity,andŵĂĚĞ

ŵedoubtŵytalentsandŵyĂďŝůŝƟĞƐ͘ Ev erythingwasnowconnectedwithŵy loo k s.ItbeĐĂŵĞaƉĞƌŵĂŶĞŶƚcauseof concern-anobsessionborneoutofthe paincausedbythisspeciĮctypeofacne. ƵƌƚŚĞƌŵŽƌĞ͕itisveryĚŝĸĐƵůƚtosleep withahugecystonyourcheek,sinceit hurtseveryƟŵĞyourolloverinyour ƐůƵŵďĞƌtherebyƌĞƐƵůƟŶŐinŵĂŶLJ sleeplessnights.

KissingbothcheeksisthetradiƟŽŶal

waytogreetpeopleinŵyculture.At ŚƌŝƐƚŵĂƐƟŵĞ͕thisƚƌĂĚŝƟŽŶbecoŵĞs anunendingritualrepeatedatfrequent intervals.TheseŵŽŵĞŶƚƐďĞĐĂŵĞ ŶŝŐŚƚŵĂƌŝƐŚordealsbecauseofthepain theycaused.Howdoesonereject lovingniecesandnephewsthatwant nothingŵŽƌĞthantokissyou,

ĐŽŵƉůetelyunawareofthepainthey

ar einadvertentlycausinŐ͍ ShouldIevenŵĞŶƟŽŶtheŝŶƚĞƌŵŝnable ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐwherethedoctorwould e xtractpusfroŵthecystswiththeuse ofalongneedle͍ A cnehurtsfromtheoutsidein! How ever,acnealsohelpedmetogroǁ͘

IknowthatIĂŵacourageousperson,

b e causeoftheŵĂŶLJŵŽƌŶŝŶŐƐwh

ĞƌĐŽŵĞŵyfearsandforce

ŵLJ

s e lftofacetheworld.Ihadtodevise variousstrategiestohelpŵegetthroughlife.ForĞdžĂŵƉle,Iwould confronttheproblĞŵhead ƐƚĂƌƟŶŐanynewĐŽŶǀĞƌƐĂƟŽŶbysaying: "YesIdohaveaĐLJƐƟĐacnecondiƟŽŶ͘

DoyouhaveanyquesƟons?"Ialsolied.

IƌĞŵĞŵďĞƌsayingoncethatIhada reacƟŽŶtoĐŽƐŵĞƟĐƐ͘Peopleseeŵedto beŵŽƌĞcoŵĨŽƌƚĂďůĞwiththeideaof allergicƌĞĂĐƟŽŶƐthanaŵĞdical ĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶsuchasacne.Atacertain poin tIwastheonlypersoninŵyage grouptoƐƟůůƐƵīĞƌfroŵacne.I reŵeŵďerthinkingthatIwasveryugly.

TherecoŵesaƟŵĞwhenalwaystalking

aboutyouracneďĞĐŽŵĞƐƟƌŝŶŐ͘

Astheawfulsayinggoes,"Uglygirls

musthavegreatƉĞƌƐŽŶĂůŝƟĞƐ."Well,I wastreŵendouslypolite.Ilearnttobe funny,toexpressŵLJƐĞůĨwithǁŝƩLJ eloquenceandtoshoweŵƉĂƚŚLJand ƐĞŶƐŝƟǀŝƚLJtoothers.DeďĂƟŶŐŵyviews withenergy,Iwasknownasago

ŐĞƩĞƌ,

agoodsoul,apersonthatothers wishedtobewith.Ihaddeveloped thesefacetsofŵypersonalitytohelp createrelaƟŽŶƐŚŝƉƐwithfriendsand lovers.Yes,Ialwayshadalover.Even inŵydarkestŵŽŵĞŶƚƐ͕Iwasfortunate toalwayshaveaboyfriendnexttoŵe totellŵethatIwasƐƟůůďĞĂƵƟĨƵů͘My friendsandŵyĨĂŵŝůLJƌĞŵindedŵeof thisaswell.Yet,foralongƟŵĞI b e lievedtheysaidthisoutofasenseof ĐŽŵƉĂƐƐŝŽŶandsoŵeƟŵĞƐevenas

ŵŽĐŬĞry.

DidIevertellyou,Marlène

1 ,thatIdon͛t haveanyŵeŵŽryofeverĮŶĚŝŶŐŵyself eve nslightlyƉƌĞƩLJ͍Irecalla boyfriendwhohadabeard,whoIcould no tkisswithardorfearinghisbeard whichwouldirritateŵyskinŵĂŬŝŶŐit painfullyredforhours.

TherewasneveraƟŵĞwhenIwoke

ŵŝůLJandfriends,

1 Marlène is my esthetician.

5withouttheneedtodash

ītothe

bathrooŵtoshowerandapplyŵĂke

ƟŵĞƐforhours,ƵŶƟůIfelt

ĐŽŵĨŽƌƚĂďůĞenoughtobeintheir p re s e n ce. ĞĚŝĐĂƟŽŶcanalsobeŵŽŶƐƚƌŽƵƐ͘

Inordertocontrolŵyacne,Ihadto

ƐĂĐƌŝĮĐĞŵyhealthforŵĂnyyears.First, th er ewerethesideeīects:onŵy ƐƚŽŵĂĐŚ͕ŵyĚŝŐĞƐƟǀĞsysteŵ͕andŵy kidneys.Then,thereweretheside e ī ect sƐƉĞĐŝĮĐtoAccutane®,which includedhairloss,lossofappeƟƚĞ͕

ŇĂŬŝŶŐoftheskin,lossofskin

ƐĞŶƐŝƟǀŝƚLJandthenŚLJƉĞƌƐĞŶƐŝƟǀŝƚLJ͘

Therewerealsothepsychologicalside

e ī ect stheseŵĞĚŝĐŝŶĞƐproduced, includingdepressivestatesoroutright

ƐƵīĞƌŝŶŐfroŵacne

ǁĂƐŶ͛ƚdepressingenough!

ŚĂƚ͛Ɛnottheworstofit!Theworstis

thelossofhope.EveryƟŵĞItrieda n e wtypeoftreatŵĞnt,Ihopedfora cure.Orattheveryleast,Ihopedforŵy ĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶtoŝŵƉƌŽǀĞ͘Butitneverdid. N

EVER.Nothingisworsethantohope

overandoveragain...invain,ortogive fre ereintoĞŵŽƟǀĞfragility,tothe b e liefthatitcouldhappen...onlytobe disappointed,dispiritedand discouragedonceagain. Th eworstexperienceIhadtakingthese

ŵĞ

dicineswaswhenIgotpregnant.At theƟŵĞthatIwastoldthegoodnews,I wasusingstrongŵĞĚŝĐĂƟŽŶ͘Assuch,I hadtogothroughaďĂƩeryofteststo

ĐŽŶĮƌŵthatŵyunbornbabywas

healthyandnotŚĂƌŵĞĚbythese

ŵĞĚŝĐĂ

ƟŽŶƐ͘Iwassoworried.Ifelt

responsibleforanyĐŽŵƉůŝĐĂƟŽŶƐŵy babyŵŝŐŚƚhavetoendurebecauseof ŵe.Yet,IcouldnotŝŵĂŐŝŶĞgoing

throughnineŵŽŶƚŚƐofpregnancywithoutanyŵĞĚŝĐĂƟŽŶtocontrolŵy

ac n e .Ithenfeltsuchguiltforthinking aboutŵyappearanceataƟŵeofsuch joy.IhavenopicturesofŵLJselfduring ŵypregnancy.YoucanŝŵĂŐŝŶĞwhy.

Onceagainŵyacneovershadowedŵy

lifeanddarkenedtheŵost

ŵĞĂŶŝŶŐĨƵů

ŵŽŵĞŶƚƐ-eventhejoyofbeing

pregnantwithŵyĮƌƐƚ born. L et͛sreturntoDrX.Dr.Xhadŵego throughthecreaŵandŽŝŶƚŵĞŶƚsagas again.Hewantedtoevaluatetheir

ĞīĞĐ

tonŵyacneproblĞŵ͘He

ƌĞŵĂŝ

nedveryopƟŵisƟcandtookŵy

ƐŝƚƵĂƟŽŶveryseriously.

Bec au seofthefailureofthesesoŌ techniques,hequicklyswitchedtothe nex tstep.Froŵtheageof15,Istarted takingĚŝīĞƌĞŶƚŵedicaƟŽŶsdaily.Froŵ anovulants(whichatƟŵĞƐcanƐĞƩle ƐŽŵĞŚŽƌŵŽŶĂůƉƌŽďůĞŵƐͿ͕to ŵŝŶŽĐLJĐůŝŶ͕penicillin,ĐŽƌƟƐŽŶĞ͕and otherheavyprescripƟŽndrugs.Back then,DrXwasƐƟůůhesitantin pr escribingtheuseofAccutane®toŵe.

Hethoughtofŵeastooyoungtostart

suchatreaƚŵĞntduetotheŵƵůƟƉůĞ sideeīectsitproduces.Thereforehe wastryingto"control"eachandevery acneaƩack.MyappoŝŶƚŵĞŶƚƐwere sch e duledeverythreeweeks,andhe washopefulthattheywouldĚŝŵinish andstopcoŵpletely.Theyneverdid. On eofDr͛fearswasthatŵyskin wouldbecoveredinscars.Mycysts wer edeep,huge,andneverending.It wascategoricallyforbiddenforŵeto touchƚŚĞŵ͘ŽƌƟƐŽŶĞŝŶũĞĐƟŽŶƐwere ĂĚŵŝŶŝƐƚĞƌĞĚineachcysttorelievethe painthateachwascausingŵe ŝŶũĞĐƟŽŶƐtoŵyfaceinjust on esession.Needlesstosay,these sessionswereverypainful.Yetthenext ŵŽƌŶŝŶŐ͕theŝŶŇĂŵŵĂƟŽŶhad decreased.Theredness,ƐŝnjĞand

6swellinghadĚŝŵŝŶŝƐŚĞĚandapplying

ŵĂ

ke ďĞĐĂŵĞeasier.AtƟŵĞƐ͕soŵe cy stsdisappeared.But,itwasnever ƉĞƌŵĂŶĞŶƚ͘WecontrolledtheaƩacks ƉĂƌƟĂůůLJ͕butIwasnotcured.I reŵeŵďerfeelingpainŽŌĞŶ͘Oneof thenurseshadasoŌtouchandcould injectŵelesspainfullythantheothers.

HerŶĂŵĞwasLouise.DrXŵĂdeanote

inŵyŵĞĚŝĐĂůĮůĞthatLouisewastobe theonlynurseƉĞƌŵŝƩĞĚtoĂĚŵŝŶŝƐƚer ŵyŝŶũĞĐƟons.IknowshedidŽǀĞƌƟŵĞ inordertoĂĐĐŽŵŵŽĚĂƚĞŵewhenI hadlateĂƉƉŽŝŶƚŵĞŶƚƐ͘Shealways

ĂƩ

e ndedŵe,doingherbesttoŵĂke theƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐaspainlessaspossible.It wasalsoherwhodrainedthecysts whenDrXcouldnotdoso.This o cc u rredeverytwoweeks,inorderto controltheswellingofŵyfaceandthus avoidingĐŽŵƉůŝĐĂƟŽŶƐlikeŵyeyes swellingshut.IwasveryfondofLouise andofDrX.Bothhopedforŵyrecovery withalloftheirhearts.Morethana ƉĂƟĞŶƚoraprofessionalchallenge,for theŵIďĞĐĂŵĞtheĞŵďŽĚiŵĞŶƚof ƐƵīĞƌŝŶŐ͘TheyquicklygotĂƩĂĐhedto

ŵe.

At16or17,IĮŶĂůůLJgotŵyĮƌƐƚ Acc u ta ne®treatŵĞnt.Itlasted4 ŵŽŶƚŚƐ͘Itwasserious-DrXtookthis courseofƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚveryseriously.Ihad tofollowastrictregiŵĞnwhich includedbloodtestseve

ŝŵƉroveŵents.NONE.

Th everdict:IwaspartofveryƐŵĂůů percentageofpaƟentsforwhoŵthe ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚhasnoŝŵƉĂĐƚ͕and d e

ŵŽŶƐƚƌĂƚ

esnoĞīĞĐƟǀĞŶĞƐƐ͘Later wetriedtheƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚasecondƟŵĞ.

Itlastedawholeyearwithno

ŝŵƉƌŽǀĞŵĞŶƚƐorchange.

Intotal,IhadĮveAccutane®

ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐ͕ƐŽŵĞofwhichlastedfortwoyears.ThroughDrX,Iwas introducedtoeverysingleŝŶŶŽǀĂƟǀĞ productwhichwasŵĂrketedinCanada andintheUnitedStates.Hewasalways lookingoutfornewproductsthatcould cureŵe,whichwashisƵůƟŵĂƚĞgoal. IalsohaduseofasŵĂlldeviceŶĂŵĞĚ

Zeno,whichwasusedtoburnoī

ƉŝŵƉůesandcystsastheyeŵerged.I

hadlaserƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐtoo.Iwasalsoone oftheĮƌƐƚƉĂƟĞŶƚƐtoreceive"Blue ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚƐ͘Thesetreatŵents fo rcedŵetoƌĞŵĂininabsolute darknessforaperiodof48hours followingthesessions.Failingtodoso couldscarŵyskinperŵanently.Irecall thesetreatŵĞntsasbeingakey

ŵŽŵĞŶƚinŵyacnesaga.Whilethe

cy ststhatIsubsequentlyhadwere s ŵaller,IbegantohavewhiteƉŝŵƉůĞƐ andpustuleswhichIhadneverhad b e for e.Myacnegotaltered.According toDrX,thepustuleswereeasierto controlthanthecystsandwereless ĚĂŵĂŐŝŶŐtoŵyskin,leavingfewer s carsorothersignsofdĂŵĂge.

AswasŽŌĞŶthecaseinŵylife,things

couldnotbethatƐŝŵƉůĞ͘Ihadalotof pustules!Infact,IhadsoŵĂŶLJthatI hadtotakealeaveofabsencefroŵ workforawholeŵŽŶth,inDĞĐĞŵber

2006.IhadsoŵĂŶLJpustulesthatIhad

ĚŝĸĐƵůƚLJtalking.Myfacewasso swollen!Iwassohideous!Myfacewas redandinfected.Thepustulesleaked whenIspoke.Asyoureadthis...you

ŵƵƐƚcertainlyhaveadisgusted

exp ressiononyourface.AŵIƌŝŐŚƚ͍I understand.NotonlydidIhavetolive withthedisgustedlooksofothers,Ialso hadtolivewithŵyowndisgusttowards

ŵLJ

s e lf.

7IƌĞŵĞŵďĞƌthisŵŽŵĞŶƚinŵylife.In

theweekprecedingŵyleaveof absence,IhadŽƌŐĂŶŝnjĞĚseveral projectsforthestudentsatŵyschool, suchasŚƌŝƐƚŵĂƐĚŽŶĂƟŽŶƐfor ŝŵƉŽǀĞƌŝƐŚĞĚĨĂŵŝůŝesandataste ƚĞƐƟŶŐoflocalproduceforstudentsin n ee d.Tothisend,IhadtoŵĞĞtpeople totrytoobtainsponsorsforthese

ĂĐƟǀŝƟĞƐ͘

ThisfaceofŵŝŶĞhadplaguedŵeforso

lon g.Nevertheless,Iwentintowork ever yŵŽƌningthroughsheercourage andstrengthofwillandthankstoŵy profession,whichItreasuredsoŵuch.

InthatƐĂŵĞperiodIhadtocontend

withthefactthataŵĂnthatIhadloved ver yŵuchhaddecidedtoendour ƌĞůĂƟŽŶƐŚŝƉ͘AŌerall,whatchoicedid heŚĂǀĞ͍Ifeltsouglyandhewasso gorgeous!Also,Icouldnolongerstand otherƉĞŽƉůĞ͛Ɛglances.Iusedtogoout withascarfoverŵyfacetoconcealas

ŵuchasIcouldofŵLJself.HeclaiŵĞd

thathewasnotleavingŵeonaccount ofŵyappearance.Ineverreally b e lievedhiŵ͘Howcanyoudreaŵof kissingaǁŽŵĂŶwhosefaceiscovered withƉƵƐƚƵůĞƐ͍Howcanyoubeproudto introducehertoyourfĂŵŝůLJorĨƌŝĞŶĚƐ͍

Perhapsŵyself

ŝŵĂŐĞhadalteredŵy

ƉĞƌĐĞƉƟŽŶoftheseevents.Who k no

ǁƐ͍

IalsorecallhavingtoaddressŵĂŶLJ

studentsintheschoolĂƵĚŝƚŽƌŝƵŵ͘I reŵeŵďerthecouragethatittookto doso

ŵyface

withascarfunderthepretensethatI wascold. F rŽnjeninŵyŵĞŵoryistheƌĞĐŽůůĞĐƟŽŶ ofŵĞĞƟŶŐŵysoon ŵetooŵƵĐŚ͘IreŵeŵďerthatI couldbarelyŵĂŝŶƚĂŝŶeye Śŝŵ͘Thenextday,IŵĞƚDrX.Irecall s ee ingtheĐŽŵƉĂƐƐŝŽŶandtenderness inhisfacewhenhesawŵeseatedin theǁĂŝƟŶŐƌŽŽŵ͘HehadLouisetake

ŵeatoncetoanotherƌŽŽŵ͕whereI

burstintotears.Myfatherwhowas ĂĐĐŽŵƉĂŶyingŵethatday,alsocried.I believethatitwasbecausehefelt powerlesstohelpŵe.Withoutaword, Loui sewrappedheraƌŵsaroundŵe andheldŵeƟŐŚƚůLJ͘Onthatday,DrX

ŵĂĚĞnojokes.AsIbegantotalk,DrX

hadhisbacktoŵe,Iquietlysaid:"DrX ...ithurts.Icanhardlyŵoveŵylipsto speak.Idon͛twantpeopletoseeŵe.I nolongerbelieve...it͛stoohard.IwishI coulddisappear."

Hesigheddeeplyandturnedtowards

ŵe.Helookedŵeintheeyesandsaid

innouncertainƚĞƌŵƐ͕"Absolutelynot.I willcureyou.First,you͛llgoŚŽŵĞget ƐŽŵĞrestandgainƐŽŵĞenergyand strengthback."

Hehandedŵetwopiecesofpaper.

On eĂƵƚŚŽƌŝnjĞĚaleaveofabsencefor on eŵŽŶƚŚ͕butwhichendedupbeing sixweeksonaccountoftheŚƌŝƐƚŵĂƐ holidays.Onthesecondslipofpaper th er ewasapreƐĐƌŝƉƟonforaŵĂƐƐŝǀĞ dos eofAccutane®.InĂĚĚŝƟŽŶ͕Ihadto takeanotherŵedicaƟŽ ntoĮŐŚƚthe ƉŝŵƉůĞerupƟŽŶƐwhichwerecertainto occurrightĂŌertheĮƌƐƚAccutane® intake.YetanotherŵĞĚŝĐĂƟŽŶwas n ee d ed,sothatIwouldnotbepoisoned bytheensuingŝŶĨĞĐƟŽŶcoveringŵy face.TheƌĞƐƵůƟŶŐcocktail:9pillsdaily! Fo rtheĮƌƐƚƟŵĞinŵylife,atage31,I abandonedaprinciplethatIhadheld sincebeginningtosuīerfroŵacne;

8naŵĞlythatIwouldneverrunawayand

hide-never!Onthatday,Ithanked

ŚŝŵfortheƟŵĞoīandthechanceto

hide.ItwastooŵƵĐŚ͘Everythingwas unbearable.IstartedtheAccutane® ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚonceagaininDĞĐĞŵber2006 duetotheacne.IstoppedinFebruary 200

8becauseŵyskinwasnowŇĂŬŝŶŐ

oīinĂůĂƌŵŝŶŐƋƵĂŶƟƟĞƐ͘Myskin

ďĞĐĂŵĞsodrythatitfell

īinpieces

andinbits.TheŇakesonŵyshoulders wer enotĚĂŶĚƌƵī͖itwasalltheskin froŵŵyface.ƵƌƚŚĞƌŵŽƌĞ͕theside e ī ect sofAccutane®ďĞĐĂŵĞintolerable andeventuallyIrequiredƚĞƐƟŶŐdueto theonsetofbonegrowthsonƉŽƌƟŽŶƐ ofŵyspine. IreŵeŵberwhenŵyĚĂƵŐŚƚĞƌ͛Ɛhugs& kisseshurtŵyskin.ItwasadiĸĐƵůƚ

ĞŵŽƟŽŶforaŵothertobear.Back

then,ŵyfriendClaudinehadspoken aboutherĞƐƚŚĞƟĐŝĂŶ͘Claudineclaiŵed thatthisparƟĐƵůĂƌestheƟĐianwas ĞdžĐĞƉƟŽŶĂůandtrustworthy.Infact,ŵy goodfriendhadsharedŵystorywith thisĞƐƚŚĞƟcian.Claudineisoneofthe

ŵĂŶLJpeoplearoundŵethatnevergot

discouragedandwhosearchedfor s olu

ƟŽŶ

stoŵyƉƌŽďůĞŵƐwhenIwas to ohelplesstodoso.Accordingtoher, thisestheƟĐŝĂŶwasŵŽǀĞĚbyŵy ƐŝƚƵĂƟŽŶ͘Claudinehadexplainedtoŵe thattheestheƟĐŝĂŶwouldtreatŵe underthetwofollowingĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶƐ͗

1ͿIhadtopurchasealltheproducts

s hesuggestedandusetheŵas instructed;

2ͿIhadtostoptakingŵyŵĞĚŝĐĂƟŽŶ͘

IhesitatedforalongƟŵĞbefore

ĂĐĐĞƉƟŶŐherŽīĞƌ͘IƐŝŵƉůLJcouldn͛ƚ pictureŵyselfnottakingŵĞdicĂƟon. Fo rtheŵajorpartofŵylifeIhad chosentouseŵĞĚicaƟonasasoluƟŽnto ŵyacne.Moreover,IŵƵƐƚĂĚŵŝtI doubtedtheeīeĐƟvenessoftopical creaŵƐ.IhadinvestedsoŵuchŵŽŶĞy- ashadŵyparents-andhadtriedso ŵĂŶLJdiīĞƌĞŶƚbrands,thattrying anotherseeŵedpurelunacy.Toŵe, creaŵswereƐŝŵƉůLJuseless.Finally,I acquiescedandtostoppedusing

Accuta

ne®.Itssideeīectshadbeen ŶƵŵĞƌŽƵƐandquiteunpleasant.Ihad reachedapointwhereIwassiŵƉly d e vastat edbyheineīeĐƟǀĞŶĞƐƐofthe ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚ͘Claudinetriedonceagainto convinceŵethatIhadnothingtolose byseeingherestheƟcian-ĂŌerall,I hadstoppedusingtheŵeĚŝĐĂƟŽn anyways. IƐŝŵƉůLJhadtoŵĂkeanĂƉƉŽŝŶƚŵĞŶƚ

withherĞƐƚŚĞƟĐŝĂŶ͙ůĂƵĚŝŶĞǁŽƵůĚŶ͛ƚ

le tgo!

ThisishowIŵetyou,Marlène,ona

sunnydayinApril,inyourŽĸĐĞ͕telling

ŵystoryonceŵŽƌĞandcryingallthe

while.ThereareƐŽŵĞpeoplewith who

ŵwebondrightaway.Thereare

peoplewhoarebytheirverynature sourcesofŝŶƐƉŝƌĂƟŽŶ͘Theyprovide hop eandlighttoothersduringtheir dar ke stŵŽŵĞŶƚƐ͘ForalongƟŵĞDrX wassuchapersonforŵe.OnthatApril dayyoutookupthetorchandprovided

ŵewithrenewedhopeandareasonto

believeandhavefaithagain. FilledwithƐŬĞƉƟĐŝƐŵ͕Iabandonedŵy skintoyourcare.IadoptedtheNelly ŵŽƐƚůLJabouttheholeitŵĂĚĞ inŵybudget.Butyouconvincedŵeto f ollo wthisƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚ͕andsoIdid.I had,froŵthedepthsofŵysoul,the d e siretobeďĞĂƵƟĨƵůandyou,Marlène, k no whowtoreachtheǁŽŵĂŶinevery girl.YouhavetheabilitytoŵĂkepeople feelbeĂƵƟfuljustbylookingattheŵ͘

9YouseeŵsoĐŽŶĮĚĞŶƚ͘Peopleare

right:youareawitch...ourbeloved enchantress!WasitonlyNellyDe ƵLJƐƚ͛ƐŵĂŐŝĐoryourunshakeable

ĐŽŶĮĚence!Idonotknow.WhatIknow

fo rafactisthatIcan͛treŵeŵberwhen IlastfeltďĞĂƵƟĨƵů͕orwhenIĚŝĚŶ͛ƚget upinarushtorunandhideinthe was hrooŵĮůůedwithshaŵĞ.Before you,IĐŽƵůĚŶ͛ƚrecallwhenIlastlĞŌthe hous ewithoutŵĂke

Ňŝrtedso

ŵuchwithŵyreŇecƟonintheŵŝrror.

TodayIaŵǁƌŝƟŶŐthesewordsto

sp re adthenewstoyouandtoallthe professionalslikeyouwhoworkforthe causeofwoŵĞn͛sbeauty,toletyouall k no wthatyouhavecontributedto changeŵylife. IcanĮŶĂůůLJblendthefeelingsofwell ďĞĐĂŵĞthroughŵyƐƵīĞƌŝŶŐ͘Today,I aŵaĨƵůĮůůĞĚǁŽŵĂŶ͘Icannowsaythat

IfeelasbeauƟĨƵlontheoutsideasIdo

ontheinside.IĚŝĚŶ͛ƚbelievethatI couldeverfeelthisway. E ver ysingleday,Irealinjehowfortunate

IaŵandIthankyouforit.Ialsothank

youforhavinggivenŵenewwingson theeveofŵy34 th birthday,givingŵea chanceatanewlife.Ihadgivenup.I wasdown.Youbroughtŵebackup.I thankyoualsoforthat.Ithankyoufor havingŝŵƉŽƐĞĚanewlifestyleonŵe.

ThankstoyouandtotheŶƵŵerous

productswhichhavehadaposiƟve

ĞīĞĐ

tonŵyskin,InowŵĂkeitaduty toinvestatleast20ŵŝŶƵƚesadayon

ŵLJ

s e lfandŵyskin.

Ilookforwardtohavingŵyskin

ƉĂŵƉĞredbyyourskilledhands.These

ar eŵĞŵŽƌĂďůĞŵŽŵentsofƌĞůĂdžĂƟŽŶ͕ inthefreneƟĐpaceofeveryday.We shouldallexperiencesuchquiet

ŵŽŵĞŶƚƐŵŽƌĞŽŌĞŶ͘AtŚŽŵĞ͕InowtakeƟŵĞtosavorthe

ŵŽŵĞŶƚƐwhenIƌĞŵŽǀĞŵyŵĂke

ŵƐ͘IĂŵnow

ƐĞŶƐŝƟǀĞtotheirtexture,totheirscent andtotheposiƟveoutcŽŵĞƐofusing th eŵ͘InowŵĂkeƟŵetotakecareof

ŵLJ

s e lf-soŵethingwhichtoofew peoplesĞĞŵtodonowadays. Yo uencouragedŵetoŵĂketakingcare ofŵLJselfapersonalduty.YouinsƟůůed inŵethenoƟonthatIshouldtakeƟŵĞ topaŵperŵLJself,tospendƟŵein frontoftheŵŝƌƌŽƌwithŵyloƟŽŶsand brushesandƐŝŵƉůLJfeelpƌĞƩLJ.Allthe creditgoestoyou-asInowtakegood car eofŵyself.IrevivedthepreƩy

ǁŽŵĂŶthatwashiddeninsideŵe.You

h e lpedŵerediscoverthepleasuresof beingintouchwithŵyskin.You allowedŵetoappreciateallthe chang eswhichoccurandtoacceptthe

ŝŵƉĞƌĨĞĐƟ

ons.ŵƉĞƌĨĞĐƟŽŶƐwhichare no wtakenlessseriously. Marl

ène,youŽŌĞŶtoldŵĞ͗"Donot

loo katthepimple,Caroline,lookat whatisallaroundŝƚ͘Youareradiant!"

Today,IƐŵŝůĞwhenIlookatŵy

daughterdollingherselfup,nexttoŵe.

SheplaysatapplyingloƟŽŶsinfrontof

theŵŝrror.Sheŵiŵicsapplyingcreaŵ toherskinasIdoittoŵine.Wh

ŵyourŵoŵ-

tolearntoŵĂkeyourselfbeauƟful. B eforeIconcludeŵystory,Iwantto shareƐŽŵĞŽƉƟŵŝƐŵwithyou.Ihope thatpeoplewhoƐƵīĞƌasIdid,willhear yousaythatitispossibletobecured.

Whoknowsthejoyofsleeping

10feelingofagentlebreezeonhercheeks

whilestrollingonthebeach?Who knowsthepleasureofswimming,head inthewater,notworryingaboutthe make

ĮůůĞĚwithteenagers

withoutbeingconcernedabouther image?Whoisdelightedabouther looksandsharesthisnewhappiness withallheracquaintancesandfriends? WhonowfeelstheƐŽŌŶĞƐƐofhugsand kisseswithouthavingtofeartobe embracedbyherchild?Who,forthe Į rstƟŵĞinherlife,ŝŶŝƟĂtedthe

Christmas

W ell,it'sme,

Caroline

"Healthy & Beautiful #NellyGivesBack