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Friendship guide
for young people
Young person's guide
rsl32
The Children's Society
Advice, ideas and
tips from young people
The Children's Society has
been researching young people's well-being for more than 15 years and we have surveyed over 39,000 young people about how they feel about their lives.
By hearing directly from
young people like you, we can actually know whats going on, and work out how best to support young people who might be struggling.
Every year we publish what we
learn from young people in our
Good Childhood Report, which
you can find at childrenssociety. org.uk
Over a number of years, we
have learnt that friends can have a big impact on young people's well-being.To understand this better, during spring 2020 we asked young people aged 8-19 from across the country, in schools and in youth clubs, about friendship.
We asked them what advice they
would give to other young people, which is shared in this advice guide. There are two sections: friendship advice and ideas on how to look after yourself.
We also asked young people what
adults should know about how to support young people with their friendships. This advice from young people has been put into a separate guide for adults to read - you can find this on our website too. 54
The Children's Society
Refiection activity
Before you continue, you might like to ll in this
space with your own thoughts, ideas, drawings etc about what you think is important in a good friend. rsl 7
What young people told us.
From what young
people told us it is clear that friendships are complicated and unique. There is no magic formula to make sure that friendships work well.
Some young people
were very honest and said they didn't know what to say to be helpful.
Some young people
said that if they are finding a friendship di?cult they ask an adult for help.
I stifi don't think that I've
manage? t? flgure out what makes some frien?ships reafiy g? an? what makes some reafiy ba?...it's like o case by case bass. Yo just have t? flgure it out as yo g? along, I don't think there s magical formul, it's just how your brains click.'
I don't know, I can't
kp the myself.'
Yo ca als? ask parent/
carer for help because they are more mature an? ca handle things properly.'
Lots of young people came up with some
very helpful advice about friendships and also how to look after yourself when figuring out friendships. rsl
1. Communication
is important 98
The Children's Society
Friendship advice
Friends might not
always agree or have the same opinion and that's OK.
Talk and listen to
each other.
Saying sorry helps.
Talk things through if
there's a fall out.
Be fair and deal with
things calmly.
Try to deal with
issues at the time. 'Be nice t? one an?ther an? ?f yo? b?t? d?sagr? o? something, it's n?t the en? ?f the worl?!' 'L?stening t? eac? ?ther ?s the key.
Spen? more time
together. Talk t? eac? ?ther.' ' Resolve ??ues quickly.
Make amen?s before
things g? to? far.
K?p i? touc? vi?
phone or playing online. Don't fa? out over li?le things.'' Don't k?p things fro? eac? ?ther that coul? en? up hurting someone. If yo? have a? argument, apolog?se, eve? ?f yo? think it's the ?ther person's fault - yo? probably ha? something t? d? wit? it to?.'
Friendship advice
rsl
2. How to treat
your friends
Don't put friends
down.
Don't go behind
friends backs.
Stand up for them.
Be there for them.
Give time to them.
Accept and respect
each other.
Give each other
space.
Compromise when
you can. 1110
The Children's Society
'K?p i? contact.
Be nice.
Have eac? ?ther's back.
An? be there for the?.'
'Treat ?thers how yo? woul? like t? be treate?.' ' Always be kin? t? people, that's how yo? make frien?s. Never make fu? or try t? put the? dow?, especia?y i? front ?f ?ther people. L?k out for signs that your frien? may be i? trouble or your frien? may n?? your help.'' L?ste? t? eac? ?ther's opinions an? come up wit? ? comprom?se as muc? as po?ible.
They coul? als? accept that they may have
d??erent frien?s or interests an? opinions.
They shoul? always trust eac? ?ther an? n?t
te? people their frien?s f?lings an? secrets an? g?ve eac? ?ther space ?fter a? argument.' ' Always be trut?ful. Treat the? a? the same. Always be ? g?? example an? never try an? preten? yo? are the leader. Every frien? ?s as important as eac? ?ther.'
Friendship advice
rsl 1312
The Children's Society
3. Being a
good friend
A good friend is made up of a mix of good
qualities, like:
Trust.
Honesty.
Being kind
and caring.
Understanding.
Loyalty.
Having fun.
A sense of humour.
Being yourself.
' Honesty ?s key. 'I think a? the g?? frien?ships
I have, I try t? sustai? by balancing
out caring for the? an? the? caring for me...s? I think it's ? li?le bit about g?ve an? take.''Don't be fake.
Be honest. Don't lie.
Always help eac?
?ther. Always make a? e?ort.' ' Important t? be yourself.' ' Be ki n?.''Only be frien? wit? people yo? ca? trust.'
Friendship advice
15
Look after yourself!
As you can see, from the friendship advice young
people have given:
Figuring out friendships can be complicated and
sometimes pretty dicult.
Things can and often do go wrong along the way.
There's a lot to learn when it comes to friendships.
Some young people also advise that it's important
to look after yourself when it comes to your friends.
Next are some ideas from young people on how to
do that. ffls
1. You have
choice about friendships 1716
The Children's Society
Look after yourself
It's OK not to be
friends with everyone.
Be aware of how
you feel about your friendships. You can choose to end a friendship if you want to.
Making fri ends
outside of school increases your choice. ' I woul? only be ? frien? wit? someone yo? actua?y like n?t someone wh? ?s the most popular because the? b?t? people wi? like eac? ?ther.' 'If yo? don't like the?, leave the?.' ' It t?k me ? long time t? real?se that yo? ca? d?slike someone an? sti? be aroun? the?. Sometimes yo? m?t someone, an? yo? don't like the? an? that's fine.
I didn't real?se as ? ki? that
I was a?owe? t? n?t like people
an? just move o? fro? that.' ' Be frien?s wit? someone wh? yo? care about an? wh? cares about yo?. Make sure yo? ch?se the right frien?s because they ca? ??ect ? l?t ?f your l?fe.'
Look after yourself!
rsl
2. Friendships
are about respecting each other
Friendships should
be equal.
Friendships need
time and e?ort on both sides. Friendships need respect and understanding on both sides.
Don't change who
you are to fit in or be accepted. 1918
The Children's Society
' Respect eac? ?ther an? that ?f yo? f?l like yo? have t? constantly make ? frien?ship last, it's n?t the one for yo?.' 'True frien?ship ma?ers.
Anyone t?xic? Don't be frien?s
wit? the?, k?p your frien?s limite? t? people wh? s?? nice.'
Yo? n?? t? remember
that yo? have t? put time an? e?ort int? your frien?ship, but remember ?f they start saying negat?ve things t? yo?, or anyone else, t? try t? d?stance yourself or help the? s? what they are doing ?s wrong.'' Teac? ki?s what manipulat?ve an? ho?ible behaviour ?s because a? you're taught as ? ki? ?s ?f yo? hit somebody an? yo? say ? ba? wor? t? somebody that's ba? an? that's going t? hurt the?. But they aren't taught about the rea?y subtle things that are als? rea?y ba?.'
Look after yourself!
Toxic friendships!
Be aware of friendships
that are damaging for you. rsl 2120
The Children's Society
3. Friendships
change and sometimes end
Not all friendships
last. They can change and sometimes end, that's normal. It's OK to end friendships without feeling guilty about it, even though it's not always easy to do. ' N?t a? frien?ships wi? last s? just l?ve l?fe for yourself. Don't wo?y about anyone else.' 'Yo? don't have t? always co?unicate wit? someone t? stay frien?s. Sometimes they come an? g? but yo? are sti? close wit? the?.'
Look after yourself!
'Yo? ca? just cut someone ?? an? that doesn't make yo? ba?. Because people think ?f I cut someone ??, I'? causing dram?, I'? being the dramatic one. I'? like n?, yo? are fr?ing yourself fro? s? muc? future ??ues, future dram? by just ending relationships as s?? as it gets t?xic. Ask yourself ?f I was dating th?squotesdbs_dbs17.pdfusesText_23
[PDF] What makes a good friend? - IDEAS